2005-06-20 / 2:08 a.m.
feeling..nothing

i can try to force the tears but they wont come, probably not after crying over the same thing enough times before. repetiveness gets old and doesnt trigger the first response it did originally, i suppose. i dont know i guess im just starting to feel sort of inhuman each time emotion is drained from me, like im being rang out like a wet rag and theres nothing left to spill. maybe its just digging deeper, plunged in the layers of apathy ive unconsciously put on as a protective covering.

does it make sense that i would want my heart broken, just for the slightest bit to remind me that its still there?

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